A beautiful song that says it all

Recommended books for children on the autistic spectrum

All credit goes to Lisa Nolan for researching and sharing her knowledge of these books with us      The Boy Who Grew Flowers  by Jennifer Wojtowicz Product Description “Rink Bowagon is not like other boys. Not only does he live on Lonesome Mountain, a ‘hotbed of strange and exotic talents,’ but he is shy, quiet, and sprouts flowers from his body during each full moon. Shunned at school, Rink keeps to himself–until a kind, honest girl named Angelina Quiz with a short right leg joins his class. Rink instantly likes her and decides to ask her to the school dance, painstakingly crafting her a pair of snakeskin party shoes with one extra-thick right sole to balance her out. When Rink shows up at Angelina’s door with green shoes and pink roses in hand (they had previously sprouted from his head), her heart flips, and the rest is history. This quirky, beautifully told story of individuality, love, and kindness (and the benefits of corrective shoes!) is illustrated with soft, luminous acrylics on visibly textured board. Artful compositions, intriguingly varied perspectives, and a gorgeous palette make these whimsical, expressive paintings suitable for framing. An odd, lovely offering.”–Karin Snelson The Goodnight Caterpillar: A Children’s Relaxation Story to Improve Sleep, Manage Stress, Anxiety, Anger  by Lori Lite Product Description “This effective research-based, stress management technique is widely accepted and used by both traditional and holistic communities. The technique focuses awareness on various muscle groups to create a complete resting of the mind and body. Muscular relaxation can have a positive impact on your child’s health and immune system. It can lower stress and anxiety levels. It can be used to decrease pain and anger. This encouraging story quiets the mind and relaxes the body so your child can fall asleep peacefully.”–Amazon.com“My youngest daughter age 6 has Sensory Processing Intergration, along with Anxiety. Her Anxiety can keep her from doing things she really wants to. Going to bed has always been an issue in our home. She becomes very aggitated and anxious at bedtime. I bought the book The Goodnight Catapillar and it has helped alot. She has learned to relax her body in bed as the Catapillar does in the book. The pictures are beautiful and she actually catches things I as her mother don’t such as in each page as the catapillar relaxes his hands become straight and relaxed. I would reccomend this book to anyone whose child has a hard time going to bed at night!”–Amazon.com reviewer. Show Jo How to Wash Your Hands (Show Jo Language Development)  by Charlie Buckley Product Description “Children with developmental disabilities (like autism and Aspergers syndrome) will enjoy following Jo, the friendly stuffed bear, in an amusing but educational adventure of washing their hands and learning the importance of hygiene. The use of familiar objects and photographs will be funny and reassuring to children. Parents, teachers, and therapists will find the unique 3-step learning process of books in the Show Jo series easy to follow yet effective. As children learn the process, parents also learn how to frame situations and phrases.”–Amazon.com“I am just learning that my 3 year old son with autism seems to learn more through picture stories. This book is not only enjoyable, but has helped me to continue working on the skill of handwashing with better comprehension results. When I use terminology from the book while helping him wash, he definitely seems more connected to the activity.”–Amazon.com reviewer. Understanding Sam and Asperger Syndrome by Clarabelle van Niekerk “Tells the story of Sam, a boy with Asperger Syndrome. Positive qualities are listed first: ‘Sam loved to giggle…. Sam was a happy boy.’ Next come some of his challenges: he is afraid of loud noises, he has trouble making friends, and he does not like change. When he leaves the house at night, walking all the way to the local fairgrounds because he loved the Ferris wheel so much, his parents know that something must be done. They take him for a check-up and receive the diagnosis. The doctors and therapists give them some suggestions for helping their son at home and at school. The book concludes with Sam playing the cello at a school concert. Because of the interesting story line, the positive approach, and the notion that others can learn to help Sam instead of expecting him to change, this is an excellent introduction to the topic. The pictures are bright and lively, showing mostly happy faces.”—Wendy Smith-D’Arezzo“Every parent and teacher of a young child on the ASD spectrum should have a copy.”  —Susan J. Moreno, MA, founder, MAAP Services for Autism and Asperger Syndrome “A delightful and factual description of a young child with Asperger’s. Bravo to the authors!”  —Maureen Barber-Carey, EdD, executive vice president, The Dr. Gertrude A. Barber National Institute “Helps children accept each other’s unique aspects—what a great way for teachers to promote an accepting environment in their classrooms.”  —Heidi Harbers, PhD, CCC-SLP, highly regarded pediatric speech language pathologist

Malarky on a mole hill!

Feline Nirvana?

The other day something unexpected  happened. We had ventured out on a walk with friends in an attempt to  catch the last of the little snow we had in this neck of the woods, when we came upon a cat lying dead in the road. It had obviously been hit by a car.

As one of us knocked on the cat owner’s door and gently broke the news to her, I found myself attempting to explain to Josh what had happened. Death is not new to Josh; we have cats who frequently deposit delightful presents on my doorstep, that include dead rabbits, rats, mice, voles and birds. Josh has witnessed me ‘dealing’ with the carnage for as long as he can remember.

For want of anything better, and without being sentimental about it, I have found myself explaining death in a matter of fact way. ”The breath has gone”, I often say,” no more breath “.

When we found the cat, Josh was at this point telling me that the cat’s breath had gone, as had his heart ( if, indeed, it was a he ). Meanwhile, my friend was telling his kids that he was sure the cat had gone to an even better place. Now this I liked, and wanted to elaborate, but found myself utterly stumped as to how to go about it. As a buddhist, I do not believe in Heaven exactly, which would be perfect for the telling when it comes to children. And I’m honestly not sure about a feline Nirvana in the great scheme of things. But, you know, I wanted to have  come up with something that would linger awhile in the minds of the little ones, but not totally freak them out! So, my question is, how do you explain death to a young child? Or, how do you explain death to an Autistic young child ?

Still, we had a good lesson on road safety issues that the other kids most certainly would have taken in, even if Josh didn’t quite make the connection!

Josh’s first day at Kindergarten

There have been moments when I have questioned Josh’s diagnosis, and wondered if the professionals had got it all wrong. Today was not one of those times. Today Josh attended Kindergarten for the first time, and he didn’t say a word the whole time he was there. He stood and stared, he sat and stared, and not once did he interact with the other children. It was extremely painful to watch, and even more difficult to absorb.

I watched as the other new children initiated tentative conversations with each other, and began to separate into small groups of new found friends, yet all I saw was Josh standing alone, always alone.

When they went for a walk and a play outside, I kept a distance and saw my little fella standing by himself looking utterly lost, and when I went to him he buried his face into my shoulder , clung on for all he was worth, and whimpered.

I think the most painful aspect for a mum with an autistic child is the thought that there may come a time, perhaps in the not too distant future, when their child begins to get a sense of how alone they sometimes are, and with that realisation,a feeling of loneliness. Today, I felt Josh’s differences acutely, and longed for him to simply join in with the other kids. I wondered, too, for the first time, how he will be affected by this disability in the future, as I see younger children begin to catch up with him in many ways, while his direction is still very much unknown.

Josh was unable to complete the session, despite a small group, and the Kindergarten teacher kindly suggested that he leave the session early.

I know it is early days, but perhaps there was also an element of me hoping for the best; a small, quiet, Steiner Kindergarten, with an attentive experienced teacher, in a beautiful setting, with children he already knows. Perhaps things will turn out well for Josh here. But, perhaps they wont, afterall. Ho, hum, best not make any plans for the moment.

I believe tomorrow I will be more positive, because I have to be. However today, just for now, I have mixed emotions, and  the overriding feeling I am left with is one of deep sadness.

My parenting bible ….

  If there is one book I would recommend for every parent to read in 2010, it is this;

EVERYDAY BLESSINGS   the inner work of mindful parenting  

Myla and Jon Kabat-zinn   

Amazon books have a sale on right now ! Go seek!

Woodwork plans for 2010

Scotts Pine and Norway Spruce pieces

To be planked up and made into shelves…..

or pieces of furniture.

Beautiful wood to make things with

The Apprentice!

And for 2010 we have yurt plans…….

This is our 22 foot wide yurt that Josh’s Daddy helped make a few years ago, that has, like myself, retired from the festival and party life, and now lives up at the woods.Ok, I don’t actually live in the woods, though have spent many a night there. Thank God for the compost loo!!!

It has a HUGE chimney for the central fire, around which we can sit and eat and work and keep warm!

It has two doors either side, and mouldy old sides that need to be proofed!

The view of the wood from one of the doors

  Looks  like a UFO has landed!

A Boxing day walk

Christmas over…phew! As  anticipated, Josh took very little interest in the event. He was delighted with the satsuma at the bottom of his stocking, oh, and the ride in the car to Grandpa’s house was a hit! But the bike, the Christmas tree decorations, the exightment of the festivities just didn’t do it for him.

I attempted to make it special, we listenend to carols, visited Buckydoo Square for the annual mulled wine and Christmas craft fair, and, as every year, we went to see the beautiful Christmas tree festival in the church in Bridport; one hundred and twenty Christmas trees decorated by different charities, schools, playgroups, hospitals, etc ( I wish I had taken my camera )

As usual, I felt moved to tears as we approached the alter, and Josh and I made a wish that all the hungry children in the world will have enough food and their bellies will be full ( which Josh finds very amusing, taking it all quite literally, you understand! ), yet those tears were NOTHING compared to what happened two minutes after we left the church……..

There I was staring in wonder at the candle light, the handmade decorations, the abundance of colour, effort and love that people had put into making their tree special, and revelling in the genuine spirit of the occasion, not realising, of course, that poor little Josh was struggling to process the visual overload; for him too much to look at, too many colours and lights and by the time we had left the building and were crossing the road he had hit the wall ( the road surface, to be precise ) and was totally out of control! He attempted to run into the oncoming traffic, screaming and biting as I tried to drag him out of danger. He then broke free, and proceeded to run into the window display of Peacocks, thwarting their attempt to win best dressed Christmas window display in one fowl swoop!

And so , on Boxing day, we took him away from the bright lights and jingles and all that stuff, and went for a nourishing walk in the woods;

A perfect Christmas Eve

We have had a quiet, close, huggy  Christmas Eve this year, about as perfect as it could be. The boys and I shared a simple but delicious meal, then snuggled together on the sofa and chatted and laughed, as we opened and  shared our humble pressies with each other.

And everybody went to bed feeling happy. Bliss.